I Hate Flies
I hate flies. They are dirty and they bite and they are ugly.
3 were in my apt the other night and it took me forever to kill them. Actually, I only killed two, the other one committed suicide in my glass of ice water.
The next day, I killed 5 on the window.
I killed one today.
It always takes me several blows to actually kill one. At times, when I think I've killed a fly, I see it crawling across the floor directly to me!
On TV and in movies, you only see and hear flies in haunted houses and around dead people and animals.
I think flies come from satan. When I am trying to get rid of them, I say, "Jesus help me get satan out of my home! Please, please, please."

The NAKED Truth About Josh
I never lived in a place with a full length mirror, so I've never seen myself naked.
I've never slept in the nude.
I never went skinny-dipping.
I've never walked around my apt nude when I forgot to get something before taking a shower.
No one has seen me nude since I was in diapers, except maybe the surgeon, but I wasn't nude when I went into the operating room. And partial nudity during some doctor exams.
I've never posed nude for an artist or photographer.
I was never one of those kids who ran around naked or barefoot after a bath.
I think people with clothes on are sexier than people in the nude on TV and in the movies.
I DO take a shower naked.

Do You Have Trouble with Accents?
I watched the British mini-series Flood. I loved it. Robert (Rumpy) Carlisle was great, as usual.

Thing is...most people I know in the States say they can't understand accents in movies and on TV. Esp my mother, so she hated PBS.

I have never had a problem understand them or doing them. Like they had this joke in Reader's Digest:
A nurse from America started her first day working in an Australian hospital. Her first patient said, "I'm going home to die." Okay...right there, I knew the rest of the joke and laughed. She's. In. Australia. Hello?

My mother and I took a trip a down to Alabama and we got in really late, so my great aunt Elva whipped up a small breakfast-type meal and we went to bed. When we got up, we had a full Southern breakfast. Aunt Elva asked if I wanted anything and I said, "Yes. Could have some of that sour gum?" Great uncle Roy burst into laughter. Even my mother didn't get it. I have told that to Southern people and they know what it is right away, like uncle Roy.

That is one of the very few times I misunderstood a word, but it was 1959 and 3a when I heard it and I had never heard of the product. Although I was 13, I was tired from the Greyhound bus (and change-overs and stops) from Michigan. I forgive myself.

I don't know why some people just don't understand accents other than their own. Is it a talent? Yes, Gary Quackenbush, guitarist for a local band, SRC, blew my ear open one night and it is permanently dilated and, for a senior, I still hear very well. But I got stuff way before that!

And the beat goes on.

1967 Detroit Riots
It was just about this time, 50 years ago today, that I received a phone call from my boss telling me not to come in to work tomorrow. My mother and I had just gotten home from our weekly visit to my father in the tuberculosis sanatorium in Northville.
While there, we watched a few minutes of the beginning of the riots, mainly the looting, in Downtown Detroit where I worked at First National Bldg on Woodward and Congress. My mother, born in Kentucky, said, in a resigned voice, “Well, the South finally won the war.” Then she turned the TV off and we concentrated on talking to father.
When I returned to work, because the buses were running, on Thursday, while the riots were still going on, I walked from the end of the bus line, on 2nd Avenue, to Woodward and down to Congress as I did every week day. However, on this day, across the street from our landmark, Hudson’s Department Store, Woodward was empty except for a huge tank rolling down the middle and a soldier with a rifle on every corner, esp. around Hudson’s.
I can still feel that End-of-the-World-Twilight-Zone feeling in the pit of my stomach to this day.
On CKLW (The Big CK) and WKNR (Keener) radio stations, the big hits of the day were: Light My Fire by The Doors and Give Peace a Chance by the Beatles. Irony upon irony.

Why I Need to Turn to God Even More Now
I have not been feeling well for the past few months. I haven’t been talking about it much as I didn’t really know what to say.

In February, I woke up one day with a sore throat. I never have sore throats but I had been shouting a lot the day before and that was unusual for me so I wasn’t thinking of calling the doctor. I waited it out and it went away by the end of the day. However, the next day I woke up with a horrible cough, the kind you can hear for three blocks, and I lot of clear stuff was coming up. Then my body started having sharp pains when I would cough because it was so physical.

After a week, I decided to call the doctor’s office. I have trouble with the receptionist so I called after-hours to leave a message. Of course, she picked up. All I said was that I had a bad cough and she wanted to know what I expected the doctor to do about it. I said that I just wanted to talk to him and she took my number and hung up. The pharmacy delivered a medication and cough syrup ($8 for the bottle!) and, so, I took it. All the medicine did was make it harder for the stuff to come up and I had to cough harder plus the stuff got a little yellow. The cough medicine did nothing except taste like cod liver oil.

I waited a couple of days after I finished the prescription and called again. This time the receptionist was furious and yelled about the cough medicine. I told her it didn’t work. She hung up. The next day, I got a new 7 day, three-times-a-day, prescription and stopped taking the cough medicine.

Now up until this time all I had was cough. No fever, I was eating fine, etc. This medicine gave me a fever, an upset stomach, a visual aversion to food (even seeing it on TV or a picture of it), diarrhea, and closed my throat tighter. I had to cough harder to get even a little dark yellow stuff out and eventually it had red specks in it (blood).

Here’s the main kicker…I got dementia plus trouble breathing and lack of oxygen to my limbs. The last two days of the prescription and two days after, I couldn’t remember where the door was (I live in one room), how to brush my teeth after I got the toothpaste on the brush, etc. I was very wobbly with lack of oxygen to the brain and extremities and had to use my Rollator even in the apt.

Meanwhile, I had heard that there was coughing virus going around that lasted about a month and to wait it out if no other symptoms were showing up. Plus, there are medications that work fine on younger people but in seniors it can cause early onset dementia. And the receptionist and doctor never asked if I had any other symptoms besides the coughing or even how bad the coughing was.

After the heavy dementia went away, I was still having semi-severe problems for about a week. Now I deal with little things all day every day. Sure, I had a few problems before, part of it was short-term memory loss which is a side affect of ADD, but this is continual. I have gotten used to it, yes it’s still annoying, but I had nothing like this before February! Dementia does not come on that quickly and no one in my family suffered from it.

I waited out the cough, as my throat had opened up and I was coughing up the stuff easily again and it went back to my usual cough in April.

My regular doctor visit was in May. I tried to tell him that I had no symptoms of a cold or the flu, but I got them after I took the meds. I tried to tell him about the dementia and the lack of oxygen. He didn’t want to hear about it. He kept running out of the room (not normal for him at all) saying he had to write a prescription (not for me). Finally, he said there was a test for early onset dementia and I said I wanted it. He said alright he would set it up at my local hospital. He had a hole in the crotch of his pants and he was flashing people (at least he was wearing underwear) and he gave me some ‘rap’ handshake which hurt due to my arthritic hands.

While I was in the room I noticed a new sign about the difference between a physical and a wellness visit. For the past 20-25 years all he does is check to see if my ankles are still small and writing down all the problems I am having and that is it. He did give me a bone scan on occasion, as he has the machine right there, and knows I have lost an inch. Last century, in x-raying for sciatica, he discovered two disintegrating discs in my lower spine, but has ignored it. He does take blood samples, and EKG on my heart, urinalysis, and has me breathe in a tube.

I have never been x-rayed (or, now-a-days scanned) for my lungs, back, knees, head, etc. In other words, I have not had a physical in decades. Plus, in 2014 I lost two pints of blood and he has no idea where it came from (I did have an endoscopy and a colonoscopy, both fine but then he quit looking).

So, it is August, and I have not received my May results nor the head scan. My back and knees are worse and even my little ankles are swollen at night when I go to bed.

I’m scared and I don’t know what to do. So, I do what I have done my whole life…I live with it and shut up. Should I try calling the doctor or find a new doctor or call about getting a physical or what?

We all know I have anxiety/depression and maybe he thinks I’m just another hypochondriac, although he has been my doctor for 35 years. I just don’t know and I’m living in fear and anxiety/depression as well as the pain.

Meanwhile, I got a raise in food stamps which gives me some extra cash money. So, I have been getting things that can help a disabled senior. Some things were just old and needed updating. I did get a laptop and tablet (as who spends more time in doctors’ waiting rooms and hospitals than seniors?) and newer cooking appliances, etc. I talked the bldg into updating my air conditioner to the new ones that run when it cold outside but hot and humid inside and it even has temperature control (besides ‘on’ and ‘off’) and a remote control! I got a little vacuum cleaner/hand held vacuum that is light weight and cleans up the floor although it still hurts my back, but I can do a little at a time. I am going to start getting Meals-On-Wheels, hopefully next month. And I want to try learning to sell things on Ebay (and some brand new rugs I will do on Craig’s List because I don’t want to have to try and mail them).

So, I have some positive things happening, but mostly negative. I even got press-ganged onto the Resident Council and got bitten by bed bugs in the chair. Really? Really. I haven’t spoken to anyone, but Donna (and then not everything), about how I feel. My eyes were messed up two years ago by a surgeon but I got them lasered this year and can finally see pretty well again. I got a dermatologist because of my (as it turns out) very thin skin. I go on the computer to visit a few friends on Facebook as most of them cheer me up, even if it is just praying for them. I play brain games to try and ward off the dementia and am trying to get back to my writing. Of course, I’m having trouble with setting up the laptop and Don is leaving for Philippines on the 10th, and so it goes. I will find a way. Carolyn and Donna have tablets so they can show me how to work it…all I know is that somehow I pushed on something and got Candy Crush for free! It’s a start. Now, I need to download music! I have my books and loads of puzzle magazines and lots of jigsaw puzzles and games (if I can find someone to play with downstairs). I am trying my best to be as independent as possible, including in-home care when I need it.

So, that is why I have been concentrating on my Bible and devotional readings and praying and putting ‘GOD’ a lot on my Facebook page. This is the time for prayer and belief and hanging in there with the Lord’s help.

God bless all my dear friends.


I forgot to mention, which means I need an actual list, I tend to sleep/pass out after the first and second meals of the day.

I just read, AARP or Reader’s Digest, the average head weighs between 10 and 20 pounds. If you look down, to your neck, it is the equivalent of 60 pounds. It was a warning to people about their cell phone usage. Eventually, this could do you neck and upper spinal cord damage. At least, you have control over your head and can help to hold it up. So, I’m going to assume that if you are asleep, it is a dead weight and most likely heavier.

I know people ‘nod’ off but it is usually not on a regular basis unless they are sleep deprived or getting much older. Many people in my senior bldg take a lot of naps once they get past 80.

I have no idea what it wrong with me but for the past 3 years I just ‘nod’ off right after I finish eating. I have no warning and don’t feel sleepy.

I normally get 8 hours sleep. If I have fewer hours, say due to going to the store on the Senior Centre bus, I go back to bed for about 2 hours after I get the food put away. Therefore, my problem is not due to sleep deprivation.

I don’t lie down during the day as I live in a one room apt and I use the bed as a table the other 16 hours, which is why I make it every day. Also, after the endoscopy, the gastroenterologist said that I am not to lie down for at least an hour after eating.

I have learned to tape anything I’m watching on TV during meals to avoid missing the ending (DVDs can be backed up and books just stay right there where I left off).

I am ‘ou’t from anywhere between 10 minutes to an hour and a half. Occasionally, I do wake up/come to and try to get up but go right back to sleep. This can happen two, three or four times. At some point, my brain/body lets me go and I can get back to what I want to do. I only feel dragged out for about 5 minutes or less, to not at all. I’m not running a fever. As a matter of fact, all this particular summer I have been running about a degree below normal. My ‘normal’ is 97.8°, so about 96.3° to 96.9°. My mother was told I’m anemic when I was child, but this doctor has never agreed with that. Some people just run different ‘normal’ temperatures. And fairly often, if I’m upset, I get chills inside my body but my temp reading is normal.

No, I don’t have the problem after the third meal of the day but that is late at night, or early in the morning if you prefer, and that is when my brain functions the highest. The darker it gets, the perkier I am.

So, imagine my head hanging down for that length of time plus arthritis in my neck. That can’t be good. Occasionally my head falls back and I read that if you fall asleep like that in a chair it can bring on a stroke. (Strokes run in my family and I’ve had a few small ones that I have ignored as there is nothing a hospital can do about it. When people have a major stroke, after the head scan, the first thing a doctor will say is, “Did you know you’ve had several small strokes?” Well, in my case, I actually know about some of them, so I can answer, “Yes.”) Sometimes I wake up/come to and I am bent over and my head is practically on my knees. However, I usually wake up/come to in the exact position I was in: Holding a book, my face in my hands, leaning on the arm of the chair, etc. Of course, any extremities that are ‘up in the air’ have ‘fallen asleep’ as the saying goes. The rest of my body doesn’t move so it is like I am frozen. When I go to bed, I do wake up in a different position than when I fell asleep, so I sleep normally.

Well, you’ve got me on this one…

Game of Thrones Ends My Way
Since I don’t have cable I eagerly await the release on DVD of my guilty pleasure Game of Thrones. I just finished the Sixth Season. There is one season left.

(I should add, at this point, that I save all the articles on upcoming seasons to read after I have seen the season everyone else has seen.)

In one of the major articles I read the creators have decided to drag out the last season. Yes, it begins with 7 episodes to be shown during the summer of 2017, which is this year. However, they have decided to show the last episodes of the Seventh and Final Season of Game of Thrones in 2018 or maybe 2019! Seriously? No one wins until 2019? Plus, the DVD (maybe I’ll have a blu-ray by then) won’t come out until 2020.

Now, I’m already 71 which means several things not the least of which is that I may actually be deceased at that point. And, really (?), that far off? The kids will be married adults with children; the other actors will be, well, old-er. The people who created this show will be working on other shows, their careers will have moved on and they might just forget about the whole thing and never do the ending. (It’s happened before…and then, 10 years later, everyone suddenly remembers and they make a movie funded on Kickstarter, because no one cares anymore, and it will flop at the box office.)

The final major battle for the actual throne will be kicking the walkers out from under each other and everyone falling down yelling, “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” Apparently, no wins unless one person is able to crawl up to the throne, pull themselves up; get into a sitting position and, after a nap, whisper, “I won!”

Well, hopefully not, but it certainly looking this way to me.

However, coming back to semi-reality, as a fan I have my own idea as to how the series will end. Love it or leave it or fall on the floor laughing here is my ending:

Everyone left standing with a rightful claim to The Iron Throne is gathered in
The Throne room, minus one. There is a huge battle of weapons, fists
and magic trickery. Everyone dies. Bodies on the floor strewn all over the
place. At last, little vindictive, killer, battered, dirty-faced, and on the whole
confused, Arya Stark finally arrives and pushes open the doors. She stands
there eyeing the carnage, straightens her back, sticks out her chin, walks
across the bodies to The Iron Throne, sits down and states, to no one in
particular, “Girl is King of The Seven Kingdoms.” THE END

Yeah, people who know me are surprised that it is not my favorite from the beginning, Tyrion, but so this show goes… And if you really think about it who else, honestly (as if there has ever been any honesty in this entire series), deserves it more?

My New Bible Quote for the Year 2017
“And He must needs (of necessity) go (pass) through Samaria.” John 4:4
(The moment Jesus pushed beyond traditions, expectations and boundaries.)



In 2014, I was at the Dollar Store when a wall of Santa heads caught my eye. I guess that if they had been faces with red hats I wouldn’t have given them a second look but the hats were all different colors. There was one with a deep rich velveteen blue hat and I had to have it, blue being my favorite color. As I took it down, something odd caught my eye.
One of the Santas had a cap that was tartan!
A lovely woman, Catherine who was almost 90 and a war bride, was living down the hall. After all these years since World War II, she still had a pronounced Scottish accent. It made her all the more endearing. She had shared with me stories of her life in the United States and shown me many pictures. But she loved talking about her homeland of Scotland when she was swept off her feet by a handsome American soldier.
Oh, I thought, I have to get her that tartan head Santa! I’ll bet she never saw anything like it.
Catherine had made friends with Julie, who lived across the hall. They looked out for each other and took turns making dinner each night.
Well, if I get one for Catherine, I’ll have to get one for Julie. But I wasn’t sure what she would like and I still wanted it to still be different, so I got a green Santa head.
When I got home, I realized that it was difficult to get something for someone as, for some reason; it seems to mean we want something in return. It was the Dollar Store! A buck! So, late at night, I just hung the Santa heads on their door handles and never said a word. I never heard them say a word but, instead of taking them in and putting them on their trees, they left them on their doors.
That made me feel good and when I walked the hall every day, I smiled just seeing them there.

In 2015, I heard Catherine’s family in her apartment telling her they got her something really nice for her Christmas door that year. Later, I saw her son putting up a lovely green bough. I thought of the tartan head Santa and hoped that she still had it. But if not, it was only a buck, I mused.
The next day I noticed, nestled in the greenery, the tartan head Santa!
Early in December, my blue head Santa fell and broke. I never saw the green head Santa again. But I feel they live on in the tartan head Santa…

It is now 2016 and the greenery and the tartan head Santa are back on Catherine’s door for another Christmas. Talk about being a ‘Secret Santa!’

It is now 2017, Tartan Head Santa back on Catherine's door! Sure makes me smile. She is 93 now.

My Mother's Favorite Joke

In the 1950s, a long-haul trucker was driving down the road with a full load of brand new cars. He had told his wife he would be home that night. The journey was boring as it was autumn in the south and the harvest had left nothing but flat, stubbly fields as far as the eye could see and there was very little to no traffic.

As dusk approached, the trucker flipped on his lights. Nothing happened. He was disappointed, as he would have to sleep that night in a motel instead of his bed at home. He spotted a phone booth and pulled onto the shoulder of the road. As he spoke to his wife about not being with the family, he looked at the truck. Then he said, “Wait! I have an idea! Hang on!”

The driver noticed that the car on the top row was over the cab and angled slightly downward. He climbed up and reached into the car, turning on the lights. Sure enough, the lights hit the road in front of the cab. He ran back to the phone and told wife he would be home after all.

The two-lane blacktop didn’t seem as lonely as he drove home. About an hour later in full darkness, he spotted headlights coming from the other direction. Suddenly, the car veered off the road and out into the harvested field. The trucker pulled onto the shoulder of the road and ran across to the car.

“What happened? Are you all right?” asked the trucker.

The man looked up and said, in a slow drawl, “Ye-ah. It’s just that I figured, if you was half as wide as you was tall, I needed to get ALL the way off the road!”

Miss Josh Emmett
Published in the Senior Living – Oakland, August 2013

I have always had trouble with animals and/or donating. I'm not an up-close and personal type of person with animals. I don't even care for the zoo. However, donating is, as they say, a horse of a different color.
In the 80s, I signed up to donate monthly to the ASPCA. Without any notice, after a few months, they just started taking more out. I cancelled. In the new century, I signed up for another place, and they did the same. Then I signed up, with several others (like hungry, breast cancer, literacy), to click each day to donate. The others are still fine, but the animal one started filling my box with emails. Dozens and dozens. When I, finally, tried to unsubscribe from the other emails, they cancelled everything. So, no daily donation.
NOW, I was giving to Defenders of the Wildlife in a monthly donation. After 3 years, I decided to switch to a different charity and cancelled. I felt things were all right because of my debit card being hacked and getting a new one. Guess what? THEY SOME HOW GOT MY NEW DEBIT CARD NUMBER AND TOOK MONEY OUT! I called again and they said there would be no money out in August, but refused to return what they took out today! (Normally, they took it out on the 5th, but these people are real 'hunters' and managed to hack my debit card today, the 19th.)
So sad... Animal Rights Activists post pornographic pictures of tortured animals and steal money. I don't want to see animals abandoned or tortured in any form of the word 'see' but these people are the pits.
I am sticking with charities pertaining to the ‘people’ in my own country.


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